Easter

Easter day.
I used to be excited when I was younger about Easter because then you could find eggs, have a basket full of candy and if your lucky spend time with your cousins who were obsessed with watching wrestling on television. My grandmother often recalls an Easter day which she claims I was at my "cutest" as I was at a Easter hunt with my father and a television crew thought that we were so adorable they had to catch us on camera as I stumbled around in clothes too big for me not to mention an over sized head that I would have to drag with my tiny feet.
It wasn't that I grew out of Easter but the fact that I began to hate it at an early age. My father would continue to take me to hunts and with each passing year I found they became more competitive. I remember distinctively a time at a play ground where all the kids were gathered outside of the playground limits and we were to charge for eggs when we heard the whistle blow. When the whistle blew the only site one could see was smoke from all the pebbles that were being pushed around under little elementary feet. It didn't take me long to realize that not every child there was going to get the same number of eggs, possibly none at all which made me burst into tears. As far as I can remember I think that was officially the last hunt I've ever been on due to the competitive nature of children and my lack there of.
When you get older and your not religious Easter is kind of an awkward excuse to have to spend time with your family. I found myself with just my mom this Sunday which meant laying around watching movies all day and eating food.

"Are you going to wear a hat?"
"No, I won't need it"
I follow her out as we head for a walk around lake Phalen. We pass other families who also want to take advantage of the beautiful Sunday weather. With a quiet rumble of footsteps behind us I begin to think of when I was sixteen and I thought that family walks symbolized something a bunch of stiffs would do. I would relate them with the same type of people who would wear sweaters around their necks and play tennis. I vowed to never participate in such a lame event as I would always sport my anarchy backpack, wear baggy pants and apply too much make up.
"My head is cold"
"Here you can borrow mine, I'll just put my hood up."
The hat completely covers her thin grey hair only to leave a peering round face with overwhelming eyeglasses. She looks at me as I start to laugh which becomes contagious.
"You look kind of like a turtle"
As we continue walking Deb turns from a turtle into someone from the wrong side of the tracks. A stocking cap, suspicious dirty shoes and washed out track pants move a body that walks as though it would fuck you up. Stiff broad shoulders that accompany a broad upper body saunter right and left as her tiny feet move forward. I think of Deb in a gang carrying a switch blade being the tiny really annoying one that always comes out of no where to accomplish the real damage. Maybe like a Joe Pesci character.
She looks at me"This is how you have to walk with your butt squeezed and your tummy sucked in"
"What?"
"This is how you have to walk with your butt squeezed and your tummy sucked in"
"Are you fing kidding me?"
I begin to explain that as much fun as it is to mimic a posture that closely resembles holding in a fart that whole deal was not really for me.
We reach the hilly part of the park that is also the side that contains the beach and all of the parks. If you want to enjoy interesting people watching you must go to Lake Phalen especially in the summer. I think of this as we pass a small Asian man with a metal detector on the beach.
I've had a lot of memories, oddly, from Lake Phalen and now my mother has bought a house within a block of it's three mile circumference.
My first real experience at this lake was it's connected golf course that my dad would always take me to go sledding in the winter. When he had days off it was always certain we would end up there as we would visit my Uncles car wash on Arcade. There I spent many memorable hours of eating vending machine sandwiches and watching Days of Our Lives. If it was one thing I always thought was interesting about my dad was his obsession with his "shows" one being Days of Our Lives and General Hospital.
Being a little bit older, maybe around the age of twelve I remember this time my brother drove me around town in his Mitsubishi eclipse which would later be reposed. Tom insisted on driving around Lake Phalen because "that's what everyone did" and that here you could "pick up chicks".
I never really had many experiences until much later around the age of eighteen where I would argue with the quality of Lake Phalen with one of my best friends Melissa who would always say "Lake Phalen fucking sucks! It's ghetto and theres always dead bodies in that lake" With point in hand if you can get over the occasional Asian person they find floating on the surface then your okay.
My last real experience up until now was when my first long term boyfriend Chris nelson and I decided to walk around the lake, eat lunch and climb one of the trees and lay in the sunlight dangling from the branches. We talked about the future like someday everything we asked for we would get.
Well it's been years really and now I find myself here on Easter walking around with my mom who at a distance could look like a brut. I lay my last Easter egg down that I stuffed with money and continue walking.
"Do you think you are the Easter bunny?" She continues to sped walk, " You could have just given me the money I would have used it on coffee."
I lecture to my mom for a short while on the importance of sharing the wealth or just the idea of little surprises which seems to bounce off of her head and land straight into the water. I realize that I am an Easter bunny which makes me very excited. What if someone discovers my eggs that I have placed in random places to eventually come to the conclusion after many sleepless nights that the only possible reason is Yes, an Easter bunny does really exist. It sounds magical.
We have almost reached our house and I feel refreshed and a little more alive then the slump that didn't move from a chair for almost four hours watching movies and eating food. My mom begins to swirl her arms from side to side. I can feel the expression of confusion on my face as she explains, " This one is good for your stomach...it's another exercise that I made up"