So for the whole summer I've been training for the TC marathon here in Minnesota. I've given up time away from a lot of things that I'm usually productive with this time of the year like painting, sewing, drinking with friends and etc just so I can spend hours running.
I guess for the most part I've really hated it running long distances and keeping a schedule. Just hasn't been my free self of enjoying life and basically doing whatever I want. For the most part I guess it was good because it has shown me that I can actually do things that I set out to do. I would have never guessed that I would run 14, 17, and 20 mile run three weeks in a row. It was a real eye opener. That an not drinking a drop a week before the big day even with summits dwelling in my fridge.
On my last night my nerves got the best of me in which I finally broke down crying to my friend Dan on the phone about how I was really scared that I was going to be too slow or that I was just going to give up. In the Marathon they have this bus that comes and picks you up if you are too slow and it takes you away. Dan said the normal friend thing to say, " You will do great" and "At least you are trying it" but you could tell it was from the heart. It made me feel a little better about my lack of self confidence.
When the race started, the rain also began and I was soaked. People stopped but I cruised by. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, worried the whole time that I would be too slow...the last one. And by the time I reached the 13 mile, half way point and not even being tired I knew I was going to make it. I realize that I should never self doubt myself ever again. Just really stupid.
Well, on the 15 mile I pulled a muscle in my right knee which was so painful even when walking I hobbled over to the EMTs who told me it was best to just get on the bus. It was so frustrating and probably the worst feeling in the world. I felt like everything I worked for had gone completely down the drain.
So embarrassed and getting on the bus that I dread the whole week before I reached the capital where I met my boyfriend and my mom. We went home and I spent the entire night in bed, pain soaked right knee, sulking and upset with probably the best person on the earth.
So the next day while I finally text my friends what happened and went hobbling around my everyday tasks pissed off and upset it wasn't until later that night that I finally came to my senses. I think it was the great people in my life that did it. They were just as proud of me as if I completed and it was really just me that cared so much.
So What can I say? You can never prepare for anything I mean we all know that. And there are people out there who have so much confidence that I'm stoked for them. But for the rest of us that probably won't hit that level of self assurance until late thirties I guess what I've learned is to never doubt yourself. Eventually you'll find that you can do some pretty amazing things or try to do some things. But if you are lucky to have some pretty great people in your corner, they will always see you in that amazing way. Which is an absolutely beautiful thing and not to be taken for granted.
So thanks guys...you mean a lot to me. I will try again next year! ( probably do more stretches)
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