Sunlight

I've been crying on and off since yesterday. The bombing in Boston made me think of so many things. I ran the twin cities marathon last year. The night before your nervous because you want to make it to the end but there's doubt still that you might not. It takes about six months to train for a marathon and at times it seems like its your entire life. The runs are long and there are many during the week that you feel like you have no time for anything else. When you start the minute your legs start moving you are so excited and filled with adrenaline. The biggest help and one of the only reasons I made it across the finish line are the volunteers, the spectators, and family cheering you on throughout and to congratulate you at the end. This is when I start to just break down. I just think of everyone's face that day, the support and the love that was so universal. I'm sure these are the same faces that were there that day and it just destroys me. There is just this connection, and its so hard to shake. I just feel so bad just because I know initially how excited and happy everyone was prior. I'll never understand why things like this happen in the world. Where people get so lost that they have to resort to this kind of evil. I'll be honest it makes me scared, having and raising a child in such a violent and unpredictable world. Today in Minnesota it's a beautiful day. We have had snow, cold and grey skies for so long that today is the biggest relief. Like Mother Nature is giving us a little bit of happiness, sanity to make it through to summer. I hope that I can be that mother. To create a wonderful human being that is like a constant warm sunlight day.