Somethings got to give

Her chubby arms wrap around my neck. I only know her from pictures. This is the first time I've been in her presence. A hug from someone I barely know is the nicest feeling. Made me feel more like I mattered.



I'm cleaning out my car at a gas station that has just raised it's price to the 3.65 cent price. What do I hate more about the rising gas prices? Is people bitching about that and then complaining about everything else. It makes you feel really heavy.
"Excuse me, Do you have any money so that I can get a piece of pizza?"
I look at him. Just a kid.
"Sorry dude." I grimace and continue picking up. When I'm driving I realize what an asshole I was. I look in my purse and found a dollar. "I could have given him that dollar" I say to myself. I get home and have a bowl of cereal and continue thinking of how much of an asshole I was. Just a kid who wanted a piece of pizza? Why didn't I even bother to look? My negativity probably just turned someone else onto the same path. What a jerk.
I get back in my car.
I go to the gas station. I drive to the ghetto strip mall. I drive down Case. Nothing.
I find him in front of the Asian grocery store still on his bike. I pull up and he looks defeated.
"I've been looking for you," I say," I found this dollar. I'm sorry. "
His face brightens up and he says thank you.

This was a crazy lesson for me. I'm saying this story not to make myself look better or say Save the Children whenever possible and especially involving pizza. What was weird was that I wasn't even thinking and I was so stuck in my own world when he approached I just gave an answer I always gave without even thinking about it. There is just so much stuff going on you've just got to let it go. There is nothing your going to do about the mass people who have nothing, are sick, trying to make it, get laid off. But there is something you can do, which is to always be present, let go, and just be sensitive and kind.

Tonight I broke out the long board for the first time this summer. I rode the smooth trails while listening to J5,Outkast, Pavement and NOFX. It was the most amazing therapy. I passed two teenagers on their skateboards and one of them yelled out "Sweet long board man!" and I replied, "Thanks dude" and continued pushing as hard as I could up the hill. I was excited to turn the corner so that I could catch my breath and mentally remind myself to not pull anything.

The nice thing about where I live is that there are parks and trails everywhere. I think that the Bruce Vento trail is going to be my key to sanity for this summer. This is probably going to be my most creative summer ever (meaning lack of money and the search for alternatives) but I'm okay with it. I'm going to just enjoy riding, plant a garden for some food and make some bird pins for some extra money and maybe help someone else out. Its just going to be this great turn of forgiving and giving.

Its been a lot of hard work to get here. I open the door and lay on the couch.