Wearing Helmets

So the other day I was thinking about when I learned how to first ride a bike without training wheels. I was in the bathroom washing my face and thinking about all of the stuff I want to do within the next year like for example sky diving and I never would have ever thought of myself in that way when I was younger. I was a very cautious child growing up and this made me think of when I first learned how to ride a bike without training wheels. I think I was about 7. Sure I looked like the special kid with her streamers, training wheels and her body over growing her bike but it never bothered me until one day the most hated, biggest girl bully from the block made fun of me in front of a pack of people. Her name was Melissa and people called her Missy for short which to me made her sound more evil and devilish the way the shorten consonant's clashed together awkwardly. She was also very overweight just like me which made me feel like I was betrayed by my own kind. So one day my dad took off my training wheels and my family and friends gathered around as I pedalled and he pushed me off into this epic moment on a warm, breezy spring day. Its crazy how I can still feel the air brush past my arm hairs, my limp locks swaying through the wind, my mouth open in a wide smile and the complete freedom of being able to go anywhere. When I got to the end of the street I realized I would have to turn around and this was frightening to me. No one told me how to turn around. Suddenly I could feel the bike start to wobble and off I flew onto the hard sun soak pavement skinning and bruising my legs. That was it for bike riding for me for a while. I cried until I got home and Dad put on the training wheels and I didn't get them off until I was really good and ready which took me forever. Its kind of funny to think about all the stuff I was scared about when I was a kid like this story and when I hurt my neck once doing cartwheels and I vowed to never do them again ever. It is kind of interesting to grow up and become more of a risk taker, I feel that a lot of people do the exact opposite.

I recently became addicted to watching LA Ink. Its not a very flashy show, there is no plot and yes it is another reality show. What I really like about it is to see the art work and to hear all of the stories behind people who choose to get tattoos done. What I was even more surprised is that the show actually confirmed and comforted me about something in life I have been battling lately with missing my father. Sometimes I really miss him and I feel almost stupid for dwelling about it. There are times I'll be driving in my car and I'll just start crying about how much I miss him, seeing him, and even smelling him. Its been about 8 years now, I think since he has passed so I've always felt like such a failure in letting go. On the show there are a lot of people getting memorial tattoos to their loved ones. Almost all of them have said " Time only makes it easier to talk about the person you lost but it you will alwasy miss that person." It made me feel better to hear a connection to other people that also felt this way. I think it's important to realize that you don't have to let them go and you can keep them with you, think about them as much as you desire and to never feel guilty about it. I never thought I would come away from that show with anything other then just seeing some cool art work but again it has set an example that you can't always judge a book by its cover.

It's Christmas week and I've kind of vowed to myself that I would squeeze in as much holiday pleasure as I could. Do all the things that I've always wanted and dreamed of doing. Like see Its A Wonderful Life on the big screen, take Travis to the Macys Christmas Display, walk around downtown St Paul and take in as much of the lights and wreaths as I can handle. Spend time with family and maybe go some where to hear caroling or church music. Eat as much as I can. So far, I'm doing pretty good.