Goodbye Jibboo

Before we left to go camping our cat Jibboo wasn't feeling super well but we didn't really think a whole lot about it but maybe he ate something that wasn't sitting right with him. For a while both of our cats where eating this one houseplant and throwing up all the time being real gluttons for punishment but nothing really came of it. We went camping, Dave proposed to me and I for the first time was able to rock climb on actual rocks instead of an indoor gym. When we came home we found Jibboo laying on the floor in the kitchen dead. I want to say I never want to ever experience this again but we have two more animals so I think I'm out of luck. We both have been crying all day. Jibboo was such a part of our family and will be missed. He was the sweetest creature ever and very handsome to boot. Before we left I snuggled up to him and held him for a long time while kissing his fuzzy head. I guess thinking back on it now that feeling kind of felt like the end. It definitely felt like a goodbye I just didn't know how permanent. I'm still up and it's almost 3am and all I want to do is make cookies but we don't have any brown sugar. I'll miss him so much. When we introduced our other cat Amos to Jibboo they fought constantly. They still would fight even after being around each other for almost 6months but they loved to sleep next to each other. I like to think that when Jibboo was getting ready to go Amos was there and maybe they made some amends with each other. Amos has never seen another cat die before, it makes me wonder now if he is scared of death? He's been sleeping or laying around with us looking depressed. We now regret that we ever left even though we had a great time while we were gone. There is nothing that can be done anymore, nothing that can be changed and we all know we can't go back in time. We all live with regrets even when we try to live a life that we think will provide none. Kind of a bittersweet day, when one path opens and another closes.