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I'm home from a night in the hospital. My blood pressure has been up and they wanted to induce labor. I'm the most impatient person on the universe, so at 40 weeks and 2 days I jumped at this idea, I finally get to meet my baby? Lets do it! We left our house prepared and excited. When we got there we learned that it could take up to three days in the hospital to get my body to start labor through a series of medicines and gadgets, leaving the unknown possibility of a C section that would constantly linger as option B. I started crying, not only was I scared as shit, but I was worried if this was the best option for baby and me, and it felt so un natural, well because it was.

The night was full of mixed emotions and physical pain with 3 midwives checking my cervix. In the morning nothing had happened. My body had rejected the first stage of medicine, and there I was 24 hours later the same as before with baby happily floating around in my belly. My blood pressure went down dramatically throughout the night and I knew this was all a sign to stop. I could hear that voice yelling at me inside my head, your going to regret it if you keep going. So I went home and I slept the entire night. Later that night I did more research into failed inductions and came across an article written by a midwife who wrote that failed inductions are a sign of your body working, showing that its doing what it's supposed to do and that is to protect the baby.  The article made a bunch of points medically but the thing that lite up like a light bulb for me was," trust in God which has a plan for your baby and your body."

I'm a spiritual person, I don't believe in a specific religion, I definitely don't believe in the bible but yeah, I did believe there was a plan for baby Del and me and going along with the idea of forcing something that wasn't supposed to happen yet wasn't going to help anything. It also made me realize that I've been doing that all my life and I've never been more happier in my life now taking one day at a time with no real expectations and in turn it has filled me with so much love. After reading this article I felt confirmed and beaming for there is something bigger then me protecting him and keeping him on his own journey. The same energies that have put him inside of me, creating heart chambers, spines, and tiny feet are the same ones in the end that are ultimately going to determine his birthday. This has been my biggest lesson in patience yet, and while I don't think it's cured me completely of my impatient ways it has reaffirmed in the biggest way that everything that was meant to be will happen and it's up to you to sit and stew, be miserable until it happens or just wait and trust and be filled with love and happiness. 

I haven't been able to drink(obviously) or go out (saving money) since baby has shown up in our lives. It's a hard adjustment at first, and there are intervals when you get antsy and bored. With such a clear head I have never been so creative, it's amazing! Baby Del has definitely brought out the best in me and I am so fortunate and grateful.