My heart will always belong to you

Well it's been a long time since I've posted. I want to try to write more , so I will! Or at least I hope!

Being a mom has been a whirlwind of emotions that I didn't see coming. It's one of those challenging roles that one plays were they need a lot of supporting actors to stay afloat, and if you have good ones your basically like an oscar nominated mom. For a long time I didn't have anyone besides Dave- I have best girlfriends that I've been friends with forever-but only one has a kid and she also lives an hour away, not really the easiest to pack up for a cup of coffee. My mom has helped a lot watching Delano so we could have date nights and she has bought Del a lot of things which has been a great help but other then that she is very critical of everything I do and kind of mean, she also talks a lot of Dels "faults" for example he used to love to pick things up and drop them and she told everyone she thought he was autistic, she also compares what he can do to my nephew who is close in age and dels never been a super smiley baby which she points out to everyone immediately. The only other mom close in my family is my sister in law and she's really hard to talk to. I've given up trying to be friends with her and just want to be cordial at family get togethers. She's also one of those moms that act like they never worry about anything, so how can you talk to another mom that acts like being a mom is a breeze? Which brings me back around to my point-mothering is hard and it's nice to have someone there to connect with.
  Being at home, it's hard to meet new people so I would attend every mom group I could. I used to walk away feeling so left out-a lot of the moms were a lot older and it was their second or third baby. It's also hard to find another mom that has the same interests in you. I feel like it's been so long since I've had a super close friend that I can confide in every second. I used to cry a lot I felt really alone. Things haven't changed much since those earlier days besides Del is a real toddler now walking and talking. I've grown closer to a few people but my status is still basically the same. It was weird there was this interesting shift that happened were I didn't want to keep trying to get out any more or go to those mom groups. I was just happier spending time with Del. I realized Del was my given bestie for the time being-that one that was going to fill up my cup had I seen it on the table. I've loved and absorbed our time together lately, our days seem to fly past. I love his laugh and being able to cuddle with him and give him kisses. It's been wonderful just us-I know someday that will change.

We have a few other new family members. We rescued 2 outdoor cats which we rarely see. I guess they put outdoor cats down right away at the pound because it's hard to find them a home. It's been nice to give them a chance at life. Our other new family member is a giant lopped ear rabbit named buttons. He was basically shifted from home to home until he landed with me as a birthday present. Buttons is sweet but he's very bossy-it's actually kind of a bunny trait which I love but because buttons is so big I find it annoying. He's also very loud, I can hear him getting into things and falling over anywhere I am in the house, even the basement.  He's the true definition of a bull in a china shop-exactly the visual and sound but in big bunny form.

I got to have a few seconds to myself to drink coffee, I'm VERY grateful for those times, and days when I'm wearing real clothes are usually bonus days. I washed one of my vintage sweaters the other day and it smelled like dryer sheets-it was amazing. Why do dryer sheets embody the idea of freshness? It was lovely anyways, walking with the baby backpack and the dog smelling my sweater as the warm winter breeze sailed by.