Unconventional Love

I know I've "blogged" about being in love with running, lakes, people, etc. but I've had a very committed long term relationship that I haven't really posted much about and that's with my sewing machine. Yep I'm going to do it...and ode to my sewing machine..I'm pretty sure it doesn't get any more pathetic then this.

When I first bought my sewing machine I had just started going to school at the U and my long time boyfriend Eric was with me at Sears. Why did I go to Sears to buy a sewing machine? I'm not really sure..I think it was because my dad always went there for everything. This coming from a man who never wanted a checking account but insisted on getting a Sears charge card. I was really nervous that day because it was a HUGE purchase...all 80.00. I brought it home and thought instantly I was going to be able to do everything I've ever wanted to do in the world but instead I couldn't even thread the needle. I actually just cried until my wonderful mother figured it out. Yep I'm going to admit that too..and I was 20 years old...lol.

So from there I decided that I would just get things and alter them because I like to? Sometimes I wonder what sick twisted person likes to put so much effort in something like a shirt. Really? but yea that is me a big weirdo that just wants to make things look ...different. Learning how to sew took me forever and my machine has been very wonderful through all my processes. I've only actually had it in for a cleaning/maintenance once. I've sewn leather, fur, mysterious found fabrics, etc. so needless to say it has been one of the biggest unconditional lovers of my lifetime.

Recently I've started to make clothes and sell them on Etsy and in one store in Stillwater. Yes, I've come a long way from the day I couldn't thread a needle and started to cry but I couldn't have done it with some great teachers on that path. I alter a lot of things, piece things together or make somethings from scratch. Sometimes when I'm at my machine I wonder if what I am doing is really stupid. I'm not trying to be a fashion designer by any means, I've just always been in love with the idea of new lives and how everything I make is like a new rebirth, a new meaning or a new beginning. But sometimes I do want to give up and just go back to having a life and not working probably 60+ hours a week with work and this combined. I especially get grumpy when I end up staying up until 2am and have to wake up again at 7am. I also hate the fact that while my boyfriend gets to lounge around on the couch after he gets home I'm at my machine until I go to bed. It's tiring and I work really hard at something that could end up on regretsy.

This sounds like griping and it is but I honestly love it. It's extra money and I really do hope that someday I can eventually make it into some kind of career that allows me to stay at home when and if I have kids. I don't know what I would do if I didn't get to wake up some days with the coffee done and the sound of my machine warming up in the early morning while listening to my favorite music. I've fallen so much in love that it has taken over all my other hobbies/passions sadly but I know they will return someday as crossed lovers eventually accepting my past due pleads for forgiveness. Right now I just love everything about making stuff, renewal, fresh beginnings, and so far happy people who wear once tossed thought losers.

I guess it just makes me happy that we can change and blossom and that there are more modes to get us there then you really can think of.