George Bush

Remember when 911 happened and for a while they showed footage of George Bush reading books to school children and then there is a man that whispers into his ear that there has been a terrorist attack and he has this horrible look on his face but he then continues to keep reading to the school children instead of, you know, rushing out the door to the country's aid. I thought "wow what a coward" but who would ever know that me and George Bush would have more in common then I thought.

I started out my cleaning day like any other, hopeful as it was a sunny warm day and I was listening to Taylor Swift while scrubbing away. I was going to stop at Noodles and Company and this made me so stoked, stoked enough that I threw in extra work into my back scrubbing and rubbing away. Late afternoon and as I hit my second house to clean the air drew grey and the wind picked up. It swallowed up the warm air and bright blue sky. This atmosphere always brings bad news as though horrible news rides the gusts of waves ready to swallow whole its next victim. Five minutes before I was about to leave my phone started ringing off  the hook. My mother kept calling with me, also my husband Dave. I knew just like I knew how to start walking or chewing and swallowing that something happened to Steve. Steve, my rock, my inspiration to pick up my feet one by one. As much as I knew I should face whatever lays on the road ahead I wanted to stay in this state of hope for a while. I washed my hands, I drank some water, I hung around in the bubble I had created for myself. I avoided the calls for ten more minutes when I thought about the George Bush video tape of him reading to the kids. Maybe it was cowardly, but I know now that he just wanted to remain in the state he had always been previous to those words escaping that mans lips and shooting through his ear canals. Just a little more anyways, you can't avoid what comes next but maybe for just five more minutes you can hang on.

Steve had a massive stroke and there was brain damage. A long story short my brother and his wife decided that Steve had worked enough, Steve was ready to let go and so they would also have to let go. My world crushed into pieces. What would people do without their pope? What would Tibetans do without their Dali Lama? What would I do without my teacher Steve? my new beginning as the perfect Aunt. At the hospital it seems sort of like a daze, waiting in a room with all of the family waiting for time to go in and say goodbye to Steve. Dave and I were the first ones to go in. While I've seen Steve before this time he looked totally different. His skin was milky white and perfect, while a tiny light brown curl ran down his forehead. He glowed as he slept while the entire room felt soft like we were all floating. I've only seen and heard about angels in books but never thought I would see one in real life. Steve was the perfect portrait of a Saint, an Angel about to set sail on his journey to Heaven. Ready he looked brave and patient as he has always been just as I should have expected him to be.

Its been hard you think about everything and start crying all over again. I'm so proud of Steve. I worry for my brother and his wife but I know they will eventually be okay. I'm so proud of them, they have been amazing parents and I hope to be like them someday. That's about it, you know people that pass they will always be with you in your heart. They come by every now and again to say hello. They keep a accumilating so that someday you will be excited to see them again, to wear that starry crown over there.

Speaking of letting go this Saturday I am having my last big hurrah as In Love Again at Hill Valley during Art a Whirl. Ive been doing In Love Again for a while now(years) but I've been yearning to do something better. So this will be my last sale! You are the only people I've told EVER you out there in cyber world. I'm excited for new things to come, new ideas to create and a new approach to sustainable somethings. I've had a lot of fun but its time for me to let go as I am ready. So after this sale things will be dirt cheap on my website for a month then my Etsy shop will close its door. I hope that I can make some money from the art a whirl sale to invest in a compost bin for my brother and sister in law and maybe some fly fishing lessons for me. Then all the proceeds from Etsy for the last month will be donated to Donate Life in honor of Steve. A wonderful human being. Someone I can't wait to see again.